"And What If I Don't"

Katherine and her mother were usually silent on the ride to school. While Katherine was up and ready by 7 AM, her mother was far more cumbersome at this hour. Her mother was actually a fascinating figure: A two-time best-selling non-fiction author on "The Habits Of The Most Successful", and she was successful: financially, she pulled in more than half a million in book royalties every year since her first self-help book, "How To Prove Your Potential". She'd taken dozens of courses on the subject of success, and read just about every publication available, until one day, she decided that the answer wasn't in these books, or magazines; it was these books and magazines. (She'd written and sold the book to a major publishing house with 2 months and it felt like even less.)


Still, with all of the advice her mother had doled out over the years, at seminars, on the internet, and through her best-selling hardbacks (not to mention the paperbacks and e-books), she was, and never intended to be a "morning person." It was actually one of the tenants she wrote in her second book (The 5 Pillars To Pulling Off The Impossible). It said: Be who you are, and don't struggle to be what you're not.


Her mother would cite herself whenever Katherine's voice became to excitable during that 20 minute car ride to school. Generally, she knew to keep quiet, and when she was successful, she couldn't help but wish for a brother, or sister, or even a cousin to keep her company. And it wasn't just that car ride in which she needed an ally (or a playmate as she could imagine her mother would have put it), it was those awkward dinners with her, her mother's boyfriend Kent, and her mother. Those nightly formalities that were really kept going by her mother's ego, rather than any real desire to spend time with anybody.


"Some people like people, some people like books, and some people like work," is how Kent put it once, when Katherine had just begun to realize just how much attention her mother had diverted to her "empire". It was a shabby empire, full of poorly designed websites, and a monthly column in the Wall Street Journal (Mother's Making Money it was called). The column was her pride and joy just as much as Kent or Katherine, thought this was something she'd be less than likely to admit, even with the toughest psychologists (which they had started seeing from time to time after Katherine was caught with marijuana at school in 9th grade. Although, she actually was just holding it for a friend. Katherine had never ingested anything one could consider a drug in her entire life, save the morning Ritalin her mother required that she take (she was no clear cut case of the disorder, either. This was just a precaution.).


"Are you going to teach me how to drive soon?" Katherine asked her mother, only half-expecting a serious answer.


"I'll have to schedule some time for that."


"Why don't I driving us to school."


"Oh, honey, you know I'm not a morning person."


"But the drive to school is probably the most important drive I'l have to make until after high school, anyway."


"Oh honey. I just don't know if I'd really be the best teacher at this time in the morning. You know I'm not a morning..."


"I know, okay!" Katherine, in a slight rage, began to push her argument. "You're not a morning person. You never have been. When you were in grade school, you nearly got kicked out cause you were late so many times! But maybe sometimes you don't do things, or you do do things just because..."


"Just because," her mother said, glancing at her. As if.


"I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm just trying to tell you that from my perspective, from the perspective of someone who'll be getting their license in a matter of months."


"7 months, honey" Her mother interjected.


"Months, still," Katherine said. "Besides, maybe it would be good to stop all this "morning person" crap anyway."


"Excuse me?" Her mother shrieked.


"I'm sorry," Katherine said, looking straight ahead. "I just think that maybe there are things about the morning you're just not giving enough credit. Like the cool air, or the foggy sky."


"I've had enough cool air and fog in my day," Her mother said, still angry about her daughter's use of the word 'crap'. "I've built my career off trusting my instincts, and one of those instincts tells me that I just wasn't meant to be too cognitive..."


"Cognitive..." Katherine said, rolling her eyes and scoffing with her mouth.


"Conversation postponed until dinner."


"I can't wait," Katherine said sarcastically.


"Please just accept that I am NOT a morning person."


"And what if I don't?"